


Just Like This

by STARSdidathing



Category: Iron Man (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies), Thor (Movies)
Genre: Acceptance, Boys In Love, Cute, Developing Relationship, Domestic Fluff, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Established Relationship, Feels, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Good Loki (Marvel), Happy, Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort, Insecure Tony, Loki Feels, Loki Gets a Hug, Loki Needs a Hug, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Avengers (2012), Romantic Fluff, Tony Being Tony, Tony Feels, Tony Needs a Hug, Tony Stark Gets a Hug, Tony Stark Has A Heart, Tony-centric, Wordcount: 5.000-10.000
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-10-23
Updated: 2017-10-23
Packaged: 2019-01-21 19:04:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,852
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12463941
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/STARSdidathing/pseuds/STARSdidathing
Summary: Relationships don't come without their faults or their problems. But when you find that perfect person, it's remarkable how they can make even the painful parts okay.





	Just Like This

**Author's Note:**

  * For [CinnamonSugar](https://archiveofourown.org/users/CinnamonSugar/gifts).



> Another story off my very, very long WIP list, yay!
> 
> This was inspired by a song and has lyrics in italics/as scene breaks throughout the story. The song is "[Something Just Like This](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FM7MFYoylVs)" by Coldplay & The Chainsmokers. It is a lovely song and is so _very_ apt for Loki/Tony, in my opinion. 
> 
> CinnamonSugar prompted me by telling me about the song and I absolutely loved it. Sorry this took so long to finish! Hopefully though it does justice to the song and what you were imagining! :D
> 
> p.s. Special thanks to NovaRain who gave this (and the summary) a read through before I posted it and helped me kick one of the scenes into shape. You're an absolute gem. ♥

* * *

_“Where'd you wanna go? How much you wanna risk?”_

* * *

“This is bullshit.”

Loki raised his head from the book he was reading and blinked at Tony. “Pardon?”

Tony just kept stepping into Loki’s room in Avenger Tower, waving the book that was in his hand in front of the mage’s nose. “This. This _welding technique_. My fucking ass that this works.”

Loki blinked, taking in the dishevelled look and the smear of something not unlike soot on Tony’s cheek. He also seemed to have a scorch mark on his arm. “Did you try to _recreate_ it?”

“This is a _manual_ on welding,” Tony said, stressing the word while also saying it very clearly, as if Loki was a fool who didn’t understand him. “And it doesn’t work. So I’m saying it’s bullshit.”

Loki was trying to fight down a smile. “It will not work, no, not with Midgardian equipment.”

Tony made an outraged sound before flipping open the book and shoving it even further under Loki’s nose. He gestured furiously at a diagram. “Hammer. Chisel. Metal. Forge. _It should work_.”

“ _It will not_ ,” Loki stressed just as firmly, but with amusement rather than agitation. “You will need items from Niðavellir if you wish to craft anything in this book.”

Tony stared at him, looking offended. “You gave me a book that _won’t work_.”

“I gave you a book I thought might interest you,” he paused, looking thoughtful. “Although, perhaps I should have suspected you would attempt a Midgardian method before coming to me for assistance.”

“ _Assistance?_ ” Tony scoffed. “You can’t _assist_ me. It won’t work down here!”

“It will work if you have the right tools.”

Tony’s next protest was stopped before he could start, and he looked at Loki with a stunned expression. “Huh?”

“A trip to Niðavellir is all we will need. We can be back within a handful of Midgardian hours.”

Tony’s expression had changed to something deeply suspicious. “I thought you weren’t allowed to go there. I swear you told a story about getting a really horrible punishment the last time you were on that planet. I also recall that _death_ would be following if you went back there again.”

“Well, yes,” Loki agreed, “but only _if_ they know I am there.”

“And you expect to, what?” Tony asked. “Hide in plain sight? Pass for a dwarf?”

Loki shrugged before standing. “I am a master of illusion. We will not be discovered.”

“I don’t think--wait, _we?_ ”

Loki grinned at Tony, wide, mischievous and daring him into all kinds of stupid, dangerous, _terrible_ decisions. “You would miss the chance to go to another world? To purchase rare metals and welding tools the likes of which mortals have never seen?”

Tony’s expression shifted to something pained, common sense warring with desire and excitement.

“ _Sir_ ,” JARVIS beseeched Tony; warning and apprehension rife in his tone. “This does not sound wise.”

Loki just stepped closer, tempting in a thousand different ways. “A trip to another world, Anthony. Surely you cannot resist such an adventure?”

It was terribly like having an angel and a devil on his shoulder and Tony had never had a good track record at following the path of righteousness.

It didn’t help when the metaphorical devil had bright green eyes, tempting words and a mouth Tony had spent months fantasising about dragging close and pressing against his own. When that devil also had an intelligent mind and an inquisitive, excited nature; something that Tony couldn’t help being attracted to and making bad decisions with... well, it was inevitable, really.

“Shit. Okay. Let me get my fucking gauntlet. I’m totally going to get killed on another world. JARVIS, hold my calls. Don’t tell the team where we’re going either. Unless we’re not back tomorrow. Then start to panic. Why do I let you talking me into these things Loki?”

He wasn’t looking at the mischief god, but he did hear Loki chuckle lowly as he followed after Tony. He didn’t answer the mortal, but he didn’t really need to, they both knew the reason that Tony always agreed; he simply couldn’t resist.

* * *

“ _I’m going to kill you_ ,” Tony hissed in Loki’s ear.

Loki just huffed out an amused breath, the warm puff hitting the side of Tony’s neck due to how close they were hiding, crouched between two rocks.

They had a stockpile of items they’d purchased behind them and an illusion of a rock in front of them as they hid from the patrol of dwarves who were trying to search them out.

While the natives didn’t know that the intruder was _Loki_ , they did know that there were interlopers on the planet stealing their secret tech and secret products. 

The dwarves didn’t take kindly to that. And now the two of them were hiding _literally_ between a rock and a hard place.

If they weren’t almost about to die Tony would be enjoying all the jokes he could make about that.

“Seriously,” Tony told him, shifting slightly but only seeming to squish himself closer to Loki. “You’re Mr Allspeak, how the hell did you fuck this up?”

“Misunderstandings do happen, Anthony,” Loki told him; all innocence, all _Tony was not buying it for a moment._

“I hate you,” Tony declared, shifting his face to try and look out the gap between the rocks again, but cool fingers on his chin made him still.

Loki tilted his head and forced him to look directly at the mage. His face was softer than usual, free of the deviousness or rage that tended to dominate his expressions. This time, he was watching Tony quietly; the way he sometimes did late at night, when they were alone in the lab and Loki looked at the engineer like he was a fascinating puzzle and a source of laughter and happiness to the former prince.

“No,” Loki told him gently, “you do not.”

Tony swallowed thickly, feeling himself on the precipice of something they’d been glancing at for months. He could feel every place that their bodies touched as if the warmth between them had rapidly increased. He could feel sweat on the back of his neck and his hand felt stiff and clammy inside his gauntlet.

Loki’s eyes were the brightest point around him and the emotions in them made Tony feel breathless.

“No,” Tony admitted, a little roughly, “I don’t.”

Loki’s grin came very slowly, and when he shifted the minute distance forward, Tony just closed his eyes and tilted into Loki’s kiss.

It was soft, it was warm and it was the _stupidest_ thing they could be doing while furious dwarves were out for their heads. But, it didn’t mean that Tony stopped, instead, he just pressed even closer and kept kissing Loki. 

He’d learnt long ago that being around Loki was never going to be the boring path or the safe one.

It was kind of why Tony couldn’t stop himself from coming back.

* * *

_"I'm not looking for somebody with some super human gifts."_

* * *

The first six months with Loki were possibly the best thing that had ever happened to Tony. It had all the fun, excitement and incredible conversations that came with being friends with him, only now there was additional, softer moments as well as all the time spent in each other's beds.

They hadn't admitted to the 'L' word yet, but Tony could see it around the edges of their interactions and in the softness of their smiles.

But, good things Tony had often found, didn't always last.

It was little things at first, stories about Loki's past and his countless lovers across the ages: people he'd spent _decades_ with, people with magic, godly gifts and centuries of life and otherworldly tech. 

People who just weren't... _mortal_.

Tony had heard his fair share of "Loki was hard to interest" and "Loki was hard to keep captivated" stories from Thor when they first started dating. Thor seemed to be both praising and encouraging him. He'd tried not to let it bother him, but Loki had only further confirmed those tales in the months that followed in the few times he discussed his past.

And okay, while Tony didn't like to think of himself as _insecure_ , when he was measuring himself up against some pretty impressive ex-lovers and friends, Tony did feel a little uncomfortable. It sure as hell didn't help that Loki was hardly on Earth by any real choice.

He wasn't forced to be here, mind you, it wasn't a punishment. Loki had simply helped them save the universe and was continuing to curry favour with the various realms by presenting a semi-truthful heroic front by joining the Avengers.

Loki wasn't a villain; he was simply out for himself and preferred a less hostile universe to travel around in. Defending Earth was just one of the multiple steps he was taking to gain back his social standing.

Tony had figured it out at the very beginning and so had Natasha, but neither of them had called the mage on it. Now, Tony just tried to avoid thinking about it.

He didn't know how long Loki planned to remain on the planet, remain with _Tony_ \- hell, he didn't even know if what they shared would interest the god for more than a few years. He didn’t even know if those _deepening feelings_ he’d been spotting weren't just his own wishful thinking.

It was that worry which always brought him back to the... _insecurity_ that he wasn't good enough. He’d always felt like that with Pepper; desperate to be good enough for her all while knowing deep down that he never would be. The engineer had tried to be someone she deserved, but in the end, he hadn’t been able to measure up.

Tony had thought, at first, that with Loki it would be different, that the two of them were just broken enough to fit together perfectly. And when they _were_ together... well, Tony could forget about it all--the worries, the inadequacy, the fear of losing one more person he cared about--for days on end. 

But the feeling finally reached a peak when the Avengers were called to assemble and once again it was proven how terribly breakable and _mortal_ Tony was.

It wasn’t really that bad, just one more injury to add to the list; a torn muscle, a dislocated shoulder, a lot of bad bruising. It wasn’t life-threatening, it wasn’t horrible... but he was the _only_ one on the team who had gotten injured. 

The engineer knew it was trivial for Loki to heal him, and that the mage had done it in the past both before and after they were together - but shit, Tony just didn’t want to deal with it today. He didn’t want to watch Loki frown as if each injury offended him. He didn’t want to listen as the mage muttered disparaging remarks about Tony’s suit not protecting him enough. 

Tony _knew_ that Loki only did that because he cared and that he didn’t like seeing Tony hurt, but it didn’t make the brunet feel any better knowing how often those healing spells were being needed these days. He wasn’t exactly _young_ by mortal standards and hell, he was practically a speck in the span of an Aesir lifespan, and it _hurt_.

He wasn’t a super-soldier; he wasn’t an alien demi-god. He was a middle-age man in a tin can. He had panic-attacks, he had scars and there was no good reason for Loki to be anywhere near him, let alone sharing Tony’s bed.

It was thoughts like that which had Tony alone in his lab, the pain in his shoulder and arm his only companion as he tinkered absently on a project with his good hand. He’d had JARVIS lockdown the lab and go on mute. He’d also made a point, even before that, of avoiding his lover. 

Tony had just wanted to be alone and to lick his wounds in private; to drown himself in the glass of whisky he was barely touching, and to try to ignore the thousands of thoughts that were tumbling through his mind; frustrated, raw and bitter reminders of why he was an idiot to believe he could ever keep someone like Loki. 

Unfortunately though, when it came to hiding from his boyfriend, it was a fairly difficult thing to do when his lover was a mage.

He felt the crackle of magic in the air followed by the specific act of Loki searching him out, checking him over for injury or distress. Tony couldn’t stop the way he flinched slightly, retreating away from the sensation.

Tony _felt_ the examination freeze as if Loki himself had felt the recoil and had stilled. His magic abruptly disappeared from where it had hovered over Tony’s skin. 

“Anthony?” Loki asked carefully and when Tony glanced at the other, he found the mage standing a good distance away from him. Loki’s hands were loose at his sides but his shoulders were stiff with tension. 

The concern in the other man’s voice made Tony look away, staring pointedly at the screen in front of him. “I thought I locked down the lab.”

Loki took a moment to respond, “You’ve never refused to see me before. You’re also injured.”

“I’m fine,” Tony snapped, his hand tightening on the stylus he was holding.

“Clearly,” Loki said, his voice flat, “you are not.”

Tony couldn’t stop himself from flinching again. He knew that Loki hadn’t meant it that way, but the words still seemed to ring through his mind; a verbal confirmation of everything that had been playing havoc on him for hours, days, _weeks._

_You’re not fine. You’re not **good enough**._

The thought made Tony feel wretched. 

God, he wanted to be _alone_.

“This is the first time you’ve rejected my help,” Loki continued, his voice completely blank. “The first time you’ve rejected my _magic_.” And Tony grimaced there, a new part of him aching as his shoulders tensed. Tony knew that if ever there was a sore spot for the mage, it was that. Magic was the one thing that no warrior had ever respected, accepted or praised the way that Tony had. “I had thought you were merely distracted by some new invention. I did not think you were _avoiding_ me.”

Tony wouldn’t look at his lover; he stared at his whiskey, at the stylus, at his own hand. He knew Loki hated it when he lied. He knew Loki _hated_ to be ignored and dismissed. Tony knew everything that Loki despised and it was almost as if he was trying to make Loki snap at him, to yell at him, to _leave_. 

“I don’t want anybody down here. I want to be _alone_ ,” he ground out, his voice rough even to his own ears.

There was a long moment where nothing happened, where the air felt oppressive, weighted - and where Tony almost wanted to look at Loki and see the expression on his lover’s face.

But instead of disappearing the same way he’d come or snapping something hurt and angry, Loki spoke his answer very gently, “No, I rather think that is the opposite of what you need right now, Anthony.” 

Loki followed his statement by bringing one of the other chairs in the lab over to rest right beside Tony’s. He took his seat and crossed his arms, simply watching Tony, almost daring him to try and dismiss the mage again.

It made Tony squeeze the stylus so hard his knuckles turned white.

He made himself turn to look at his lover, glaring at him and planning to do exactly that, say; _I don’t want you here_. But before he could do more than open his mouth, Loki was speaking.

“Do you believe me oblivious to the state of your mind?” the mage asked him, raising an eyebrow. “Do you believe I, of all of your companions, do not notice the expression that forms when left too long with one’s own thoughts? That the fury, the pain, the _self-hatred_ is not as common to me as it is to you?” He leant forward then, holding Tony’s gaze and telling him resolutely, “Do you believe I, as your _lover_ , would ever leave you to weather this alone?”

The statement and the swift refusal to remove himself from Tony’s side; the way Loki _understood_ him and _recognised_ there was something wrong. It made an incredibly vulnerable place in Tony start to crack. 

It made him fight between trying to push Loki away or to drag him closer. He almost felt like he was shaking; the adrenaline rush from the battle, from the pain and from his own emotional maelstrom coalescing into to one, hoarse and self-deprecating phrase, “You should.”

“And why is that?” Loki asked, not even missing a beat.

Tony couldn’t stop the way his gaze travelled to his arm; injured and useless. The way his mind filled in the blanks of Loki’s question with a thousand different answers that all ended with the fucked up mess that was Tony Stark with his miles of insecurities, his dark thoughts, his mental scarring and his fair share of emotional baggage.

_No one deserves to put up with Tony Stark._

The thought whispered through his mind and made Tony’s eyes drop to the floor. It made the engineer honestly consider cutting his losses before one more person told him that they couldn’t stay with him anymore.

“Anthony?” Loki prompted when the engineer had been silent for too long.

 _You deserve better than me_ , but Tony couldn’t bring himself to say it. So he went for something that was somehow easier. “Even Thor isn’t stupid enough to date a mortal anymore.” He flicked his eyes to Loki, trying to smile, knowing it came out pained. “Why the hell are you?”

Initially, Loki just looked stunned, but he soon blinked away the confusion to stare at Tony sharply. 

The mage took in Anthony’s injury and the pain still tightening his eyes. He looked at the engineer’s slumped shoulders and the way he looked drained, having not only battled his own enemies but now his own mind. The brunet also looked defensive and tense; every inch the man certain of his own defeat and tilting his chin up in the face of it.

Loki picked apart every emotion and motivation he could find and when he was finished he just sighed. “ _Anthony..._ ” 

He reached forward and carefully drew their chairs close, shifting them until their seats bumped slightly. When they were in a better position Loki encouraged the engineer to move forward and, while careful not to aggravate Tony’s wounds, he soon had the smaller man resting his forehead on the mage’s shoulder. 

The former prince’s fingers started carding through the brunet’s hair and Tony couldn’t stop himself from capturing the material of Loki’s shirt in his good hand. His eyes averted, he didn’t see the way relief flickered through Loki’s eyes at the gesture. 

“Anthony,” Loki told him softly, “if I wanted someone else, I assure you, I would have them.” His long fingers scratched over Tony’s scalp then, gentle and comforting. “What makes you believe I would let _mortality_ stand in the way of pursuing the one that I want?”

“You've never dated a mortal before,” Tony found himself muttering and almost kicked himself for it when Loki’s fingers briefly stilled.

“No,” Loki agreed. “I have not.” He took a moment, as if he was contemplating his reply before eventually adding, “I did not venture to Midgard often as I found very little to interest me on such an undeveloped world. You have said yourself that there are few on your planet capable of interesting _you_.”

Tony swallowed. “So why bother with me?” 

“Would you not normally declare yourself the better of all other Midgardian specimens?” Loki teased. “Would you not say you were the only logical option for a prince such as myself?”

The remark forced a small smile and a laugh from Tony and he relaxed a little more against his lover. A darker part of him still wanted to deny it, but he made himself swallow it down. Unfortunately, he couldn’t push _all_ his insecurities down. “What about other specimens?”

“ _Ah_ ,” Loki breathed, alight with realisation and Tony felt his whole body go tense. It made his injury throb with pain but before he could do more than hiss, Loki was flicking his fingers and magic was surging through the smaller man’s body and rapidly healing him. 

Tony tried to pull away afterwards but Loki just kept him close. “So this is the root of your retreat; you believe yourself inferior when compared to the long line of my past lovers?”

Loki sounded almost amused and it was just enough to make Tony pull back and glare at him, a spark of irritation flaring to life. The mage only seemed pleased to see it, chuckling lightly and petting Tony’s hair. It made him bat away the touch as he argued, “You spent _decades_ with some of these people only to get bored. They had a _hell_ of a lot more going for them when they could actually knock you down in a spar or _understand_ your magic or-”

“They could not, _any_ of them, do what you are capable of,” Loki told him and it made Tony blink and go quiet with surprise. “They had little interest and _no_ ability to comprehend my magic. They could never best me in battle, not when they used _honour_ to win - but you, _you_ , Anthony will lie and trick and use _mischief_ to win.” His eyes burned with honesty and with delight. “You seek to understand seidr because it _fascinates_ you, because it is important to _me_. You are far greater than any of the lovers in my past because you are always craving and striving to know _more_.”

Tony swallowed, trying to ignore the way his chest felt warm. “That’s why you got bored?”

“No.” When Loki smiled it was with an almost wry amusement. “The lovers I took were not... always my preferred choice.” When Tony just frowned, he explained, “They were selected more to please my family than myself. The men and woman of Alfhiem...” he trailed off slightly, looking thoughtful. “Well, they were always more to my tastes than the Aesir, but it was my duty to marry a woman who would be a devoted wife, who would birth me sons and, if necessary, become an appropriate Queen.”

Tony blinked and his confusion just made Loki shake his head soft and fond. “I was an Asgardian prince, Anthony, and my life was governed by tradition and expectation. You are the first lover I have taken for myself for longer than a night for no other reason than because I _wished to_ , because I _liked_ you. It is why, if either of us is to fear past lovers or wandering attentions, it is myself.”

Despite the words, despite the way they could sound self-deprecating, they didn’t. They were nothing but dismissive facts to Loki, actions he had taken for duty and to gain the respect he had craved. But he didn't let Tony ponder the ramifications of that for long--or what it meant for Loki to actually _pick_ Tony--before the mage was reaching for Tony and drawing him close. It took some arranging on their part, but it still ended with Tony’s back pressed against Loki’s side and chest, his head resting against the other man’s shoulder.

“Now,” Loki remarked when they were settled, his hand lightly stroking Tony’s side. “Are you done with these absurd concerns?”

Tony wanted to say yes, God, he wished he could, but a part of him still couldn’t let it go. It was the part of him that knew everything he touched eventually crumbled and left him sitting alone among the ruins.

“You know you picked the mortal with the most hang-ups, right?” He couldn’t stop himself from saying, trying for light-hearted but falling flat somewhere around the middle. “Like, you went all out when you chose a fixer-upper.”

“Did I?” Loki asked, still sounding, despite it all; patient. “Tell me, was I meant desire someone as loutish as my brother or as prudish as the Captain?”

Tony dug his fingers into the mage’s side in retaliation, making Loki flinch away from the feeling and grunt softly. He brought his hand around to grab Tony’s probing fingers before he reiterated, “No person comes without scars, Anthony. But do you truly think it will stop me from desiring you? That it will make you any less appealing to me?” A light kiss was dropped to Tony’s temple. “I will not discard a treasure just because others have been so foolish as to do so before me.”

Tony felt his breath hitch before he swallowed thickly. “One man’s trash.”

“Anthony-”

“No. I mean, you made your point.” Closing his eyes, Tony buried his face a little more into Loki’s shoulder before forcing out the words, “ _Thanks_.”

“Always, Anthony,” Loki told him, gently kissing the top of his head.

And Tony knew it was more than just a response to his words, it was a promise to be there in the future, to sit by the engineer’s side and make him realise he was running himself into the ground with worries and fears that didn’t exist. 

Because they both knew that this _would_ come back; mental illness, PTSD, depression, anxiety, self-hatred, nightmares; oh, they were Tony’s very old friends.

But now he could come to Loki, he could let the mage crack him open like a clam and patiently wait for him to tell the trickster what was wrong.

He could then have the mage firmly and pointedly prove to Tony that the demons in his head weren’t worth listening to and that Loki wasn’t going anywhere. 

Loki liked him just the way he was, broken shards and all, and the engineer fell a little bit more in love with him for that.

* * *

_“Some superhero, some fairytale bliss”_

* * *

It had been a number of months since their conversation in the lab and everything couldn’t have been better. Loki had moved almost permanently into the penthouse with Tony. Loki had added runes and sigils to Tony’s armour, increasing his durability and minimising his injuries. It had also made a point of confirming their relationship even more publically than before.

While everyone on Earth had already been long aware that they were dating, it quickly meant that people from the other realms now knew about their intimacy. The problem was that it had the unwanted effect of drawing some of Loki’s old enemies out of the woodwork.

For the most part, the Avengers managed to handle the additional adversaries easily enough by passing them over to whatever planet they’d come from to be sentenced and dealt with. The only time things became a bit more problematic was when a female mage had shown up with a long grudge against Loki.

Apparently, decades ago, Loki had done a favour for a former lover to get them a coveted apprenticeship with an Alfheim mage. It had left the young woman who had lost desiring to make Loki lose something equally important to him in return.

The Avengers, assuming her to be a direct threat against Tony, had quickly moved to more readily defend the engineer should he become the immediate target of her rage.

They hadn’t realised that she wasn’t talking about Tony, not specifically. She had instead focused on Loki, casting a spell she had spent years perfecting; something that was just powerful enough to get past Loki’s defences and attack the one vulnerability he possessed.

Her spell shattered an illusion that forced Loki to reveal his true form.

What followed was the most brutal series of attacks Tony had ever seen Loki perform. His movements were filled with nothing but fury as he sliced through her magical shields until he could reach her. His dark blue hand quickly grasped her throat and lifted her off her feet, snarling at her to undo what she had done.

She was struggling, her fingers scrabbling at Loki’s hand as she gasped but otherwise didn’t answer him. Thor had quickly flown to Loki’s side, trying to keep Loki from killing her; even while making sure he didn’t get too close or touch his brother.

Tony could understand why; the armour’s senses were throwing up information on the extent of the chill coming from Loki as well as warning him about the frostbite that was rapidly forming on the skin of the female mage where Loki was gripping her.

It had taken Tony, in the end, to make Loki stop. The engineer had flown over and dropped down near his lover, calling the mage’s name and making Loki flinch. When he looked at Tony, the trickster’s eyes were a bright red and incredibly agonised. The whole image was _nothing_ like what Tony expected when Thor and Loki had thrown around the word ‘ _adopted_ ’ years ago.

The brunet hadn’t known what else to say when he was still reeling from the shock of what had happened. Loki just shut his eyes, looking devastated before disappearing in a swirl of magic. The woman dropped to the ground, heaving in breaths and putting a hand to her throat; barely enough magic left after fighting Loki to heal even a portion of the damage that had been done.

Thor was also quick to grab her, using Asgardian handcuffs to bind her for long enough to send her to Asgard.

It was around that time--and prompted by Clint’s succinct ‘ _what the fuck?_ ’--that the Asgardian prince gave them a bit more of an explanation about Loki. Little things like how he was _actually_ from another race, how he’d never known, how he’d been taught to hate and think of Jotuns as monsters.

It was a hell of a lot more than ‘adopted’.

It had also had Tony flying back to the tower as soon as he could confirm that was where Loki was. He didn’t give a damn about a debriefing with SHIELD when his main priority was his lover.

The engineer knew it wasn’t a good sign when he found that Loki wasn’t in the penthouse, but on the mage’s old, mostly unused floor. Tony had done little more than remove the suit and--after checking with JARVIS about Loki’s still icy temperature--quickly changed into a few hoodies, sweatpants and pulled on a pair of gloves.

He reached the mage’s old floor quickly after that, shivering a little at the dropping temperature from the hallway alone. It didn’t stop him from moving over to the mage’s door and knocking on it tentatively. 

“Loki?” The engineer called.

There was a long silence where Tony shifted on his feet from nerves and worry, but eventually he heard a faint, weary, “You can come in, Anthony.”

Breathing a sigh of relief, Tony cautiously opened the door only to blink when he found that not only was it freezing but it was dark too. Loki had disabled the lights and was even going so far as to keep the hallway lights from penetrating the room.

_Well, at least getting inside is a start._

Stepping into the room, Tony shut the door behind him. He was considering asking JARVIS to give him directions so he wouldn’t bump into anything when small green lights like fireflies formed in the air around Tony. They gave him decent visibility of the surrounding area but still no indication of where Loki was. 

He took a few steps forward, watching as the lights moved with him. He could feel the crunch of frost under his shoes and tried not to wince. He _definitely_ didn’t want Loki to see him do something like that. “Want to tell me where you are, Lokes?”

“I would rather not,” Loki said flatly, his voice completely devoid of emotion and setting off more than a few warning bells in Tony’s head.

“Why not?” There was no response so Tony took the time to step further into the room, seeking out Loki based off where his voice was coming from. “Loki?”

“You will see me,” he eventually whispered and the despair nearly broke Tony’s heart.

The engineer forced himself to smile as though the desolation from Loki didn’t gut him. He also continued to move closer all while quipping, “Well, in case you didn’t get the memo, picking you as my boyfriend means that I _like_ seeing you.”

The huff of laughter that Tony would usually expect didn’t come. It was painfully silent. 

“Come on, Loki,” Tony said, softer and a little more imploringly, “please tell me where you are.”

He could sense his lover wavering and Tony stilled, anxious and hopeful, but the darkness didn’t recede, and while not as firm as before, Loki still told him, “No.”

“Loki-” Tony tried, but the mage interrupted him.

“Her spell disrupted the illusion, I cannot...” Tony could practically _feel_ the frustration and disgust in the silence that followed. When the mage continued, his voice was sharp and resolute, “You have seen it once; that is more than enough.”

Right well, he supposed it was time to deal with that the Tony Stark way.

“Okay, so you’re blue.” He shrugged. “Apart from being a little unexpected, it’s not the end of the world. You’re still incredibly attractive, especially when you’re utterly _decimating_ the person who did this to you.”

There was more quiet, but when Loki eventually spoke, his voice sounded rough and almost strangled, “This... this not a _curse_ , Anthony. This is my... my...”

“Jotun form?” Tony suggested, picturing the flinch the words had probably caused, but continuing to plough forward regardless both verbally and by walking towards the armchair he was fairly sure Loki was sitting in. “Kind of worked that out.”

“Now you know the monster that lies beneath,” Loki hissed, disgusted and self-destructive. 

Tony wasn’t having it.

“Hey, hey, _no_ ,” Tony firmly insisted. “So you’re a Jotun not an Aesir. So you’ve got blue skin instead of white.” He was close enough now that while he could see Loki’s legs thanks to the fireflies, the rest of him was deliberately distorted and hidden from view. Tony just crouched down and placed his gloved hands on Loki’s thighs. He was cold, but not unbearably so. “Do you really think that’s going to change how I feel about you?”

The air felt weighted as Loki considered Tony’s response while the engineer lightly, soothingly rubbed his thumbs against Loki’s thighs, staring determinedly into the space where Loki’s face should be.

When things started to change, it happened so slowly it took Tony a few seconds and a couple of blinks to realise that Loki was tentatively pulling back the darkness that had hidden him while shifting the lights around Tony until they were circling both of them as well as the armchair.

It took almost a minute to complete, but when it did, Tony was looking up into his lover’s anxious red eyes and watching as Loki sat as tense as a bowstring.

Tony just smiled at him as affectionately as always. “Hey, Loki.”

Loki made a small choked noise before moving to reach for him, but his hand stilled in the air between them where it had gone to cup his cheek. Loki glared at his skin before clenching his hand into a fist. 

So Tony moved for them. Standing up, he batted Loki’s hand away and climbing on top of his lover’s lap. Loki yelped his name in protest, but Tony completely ignored him. He just plopped himself down on top of Loki’s legs before flipping the hood of his jacket over his head. He then buried his arm between Loki’s back and the armchair until he could wrap his lover’s torso in a hug before resting his head against Loki's shoulder.

He was... cold. Tony would admit that, but it was utterly worth it for the way Loki almost desperately curled his arms around the engineer and kept him as close as possible. Loki even pressed his face against the top of Tony’s hood, breathing him in and letting out shuddering breaths on ever exhale.

“A little blue skin isn’t going to send me running,” Tony whispered. “It might even be a bonus, come summer time.”

This time, finally, he heard Loki let out a small, watery huff of laughter. Tony just grinned and buried himself a little closer. He knew he wasn’t going to be able to stay pressed against Loki for too long, not when the other man and the room were still ridiculously cold, but he’d remain as long as he could.

“You are a fool,” Loki said quietly, but it wasn’t the words that made Tony go tense, it was the tone. Loki sounded lost, hopeless and as if something had just made him take ten steps back. “For you to overlook this...” he let out a rough breath. “I would give anything to keep you.”

“Didn’t realise I was going anywhere,” Tony answered tensely.

“But you do not know all of my past, do you, Anthony? You do not know what I... did.”

“... Define ‘did’?”

Tony felt a soft kiss get pressed to the material over the top of his head. It lingered there as if Loki couldn’t bring himself to pull away, but he eventually did. He also unwound his arms from Tony, leaving them limp on the armrests.

When Tony shifted to try and see his lover’s face, he found Loki was staring despairingly at the ceiling, but eventually, he started to talk.

Tony’s eyes got progressively wider as Loki blankly began to explain his past; the aborted coronation, the trip to Jotunheim, his discovery of his heritage, his _attack_ on Jotunheim and his subsequent fall from the bifrost.

Tony had pulled back during the account, mostly so he could just stare at Loki as everything he thought he knew about why the mage had invaded Earth, why he had chosen to _let go_ and fall into space had abruptly been turned on its head.

He was still trying to come to terms with it when Loki said painfully, “I am no hero. I _am_ a monster.” Loki closed his eyes tightly. “And you deserve to know, Anthony. You deserve to _leave_ and I will not begrudge you for doing it.” 

It was because Tony was watching him so closely; it was because of the _chill_ in the air, that when a single tear slipped free only to freeze on Loki’s cheek, the engineer saw it.

He also moved before he could think, bringing his hand up and brushing the ice away. It made Loki’s eyes startle open and forced their gazes to meet. Loki looked ready to shatter; he looked like a part of him already had. 

Tony didn’t even think of how much it would sting, he just moved forward and pressed his mouth against Loki’s in a kiss. The sound Loki made was almost painful and a hand came up to cup the back of Tony’s neck through the hoodie.

The mage tried to deepen the kiss but it was like being pressed against ice and Tony had needed to pull away from the burn. He didn’t know if Loki would take his retreat the wrong way or not, so he quickly cupped Loki’s cheeks and stared into his lover’s crimson eyes. 

“We all make mistakes Loki and you look like you regret the hell out of yours.” He swallowed. “It’s... a lot to take in and it’s not something I can just brush under the rug.” Loki winced but nodded, sharp and achingly sad. Tony just sighed and stroked his thumbs over Loki’s cheeks. _What a fucking mess_. But... “It still doesn’t change how I feel about you.”

Loki’s eyes went wide and moments later Tony felt the mage’s hands come to rest on his back and cling to the fabric of his jacket. “You would... you would remain with me even knowing _this?_ ”

“Yeah,” Tony told him, not even the long talk they would need to have in the future about just how _much_ damage and carnage Loki had caused was enough to change his answer. “I’m not going anywhere, Loki.”

The breath that Loki let out was shaky with relief and his eyes fell closed. His fingers also relaxed a little from their desperate grip on Tony’s clothing. Tony just shifted back into his earlier position, curled up against his lover and holding him close, feeling the mage’s arms quickly come around him in return. 

It was only in the minutes that followed that Tony finally started to feel Loki relax and the engineer decided that he didn’t care how long it took, he wasn’t about to move. He didn’t care about how cold he became or if his joints stiffened up from the position he was in. Tony wasn’t moving - not until Loki felt comfortable and secure enough to trust the promise that Tony had given him.

He would do anything he had to if it meant proving to Loki that he wasn’t leaving - that he couldn’t. 

Tony would even whisper the words he usually shied from; the feeling that was newly realised and terrifying in its honesty and vulnerability.

_I love you._

He knew it was still early in their relationship. He knew the words were still tentative in his own mind, but it didn’t mean the engineer didn’t feel it. It was why he would happily cuddle into Loki for the next hour just to let the other man unwind from the tension and fear he’d felt earlier. 

It was enough, for now, to just be silent and present and unwilling to let Loki go.

* * *

_“Just somebody I can talk to, somebody I can kiss”_

* * *

Tony had to admit, that for all their relationship had its ups and downs; its screaming rows, its heartache and even the lingering scars from their painful pasts... somehow, it just _worked_. 

The near death-experiences they went through as they continued to save the universe; it made them even more determined to keep the other safe.

The late night conversations after nightmares had haunted their sleep; it only drew them closer together.

The laughter, the mischief, the need to push and push and see what else the other could come up with; it had them creating amazing marvels together. It had them excited and giddy and forgetting everything but the happiness of _now_ and the desire to see what else they could do when working side by side.

There were also the softer moments like the one they were sharing now where Tony was lying content and relaxed against Loki on the couch. The mage had his back to the armrest, his legs spread out across the cushions. He had one arm wrapped around Tony’s waist while the other was holding the book he was reading.

Tony had been working on some designs for Stark Industries but had paused, simply resting his head against his lover’s chest and closing his eyes.

It had been a number of months since Loki had been forced to reveal his true skin and while he still refused to show his Jotun form to Tony again they _had_ spoken, in depth, about what had brought Loki to the point where he’d been willing to destroy another planet and fall into the void.

It had been... difficult, but together and with the help of Thor, Loki--and Asgard in general--had started to make reparations with Jotunheim. Things weren’t perfect, but Loki was carrying himself a little easier and starting to see that Jotuns weren’t the monsters he’d been led to believe.

In turn, Tony had also stopped fearing that the rug would be yanked out from under him; that Loki would disappear and never come back. He started to _trust_ that this was his and that Loki had no intentions of letting him go either.

It made him warm, it made him _happy_ and Tony absolutely adored the trickster for giving him that.

In fact, it was as he was thinking about Loki, thinking about so many of the _good_ memories between them that Tony felt Loki brush a kiss to his temple, bringing him back from his thoughts. “You seem pensive, my dear.”

He blinked. “Hm?”

“Do your designs trouble you?” Loki questioned. “Would you like me to assist?”

“Oh, no, just... thinking.”

He felt Loki lower the arm that had been holding his book. He rested it in Tony’s lap, a finger between the pages to mark his place. “Anything of interest?”

“Just what’s happened over the last few months, years. Our relationship.”

“Ah,” Loki murmured, “well, it has been eventful.”

“Mm,” Tony hummed, but didn’t say anything else. When a handful of seconds had passed without further conversation, Loki picked up his book again, making Tony bite down on a smile. _So predictable_ , he thought fondly. “Hey, Loki?”

“Yes, Anthony?”

And suddenly it was easy, the simplest thing he’d ever done. “I love you.”

Loki went still against him, but Tony wasn’t worried; he knew Loki and he knew their relationship. “Pardon?”

“I love you.”

Loki made a soft almost surprised noise before his hold on Tony tightened minutely. “And I love you.”

Tony grinned, feeling another gentle kiss get placed on the top of his head before Tony was turning his head and Loki was kissing him, soft and chaste on the lips.

When the broke apart they were both smiling happily before Loki was returning to his book and Tony was closing his eyes again.

It really was as simple and as easy as that.

* * *

_"I want something just like this."_

* * *

“Loki, where the hell are we?”

“I told you,” Loki answered, refusing to stop their trek through the middle of a freakin’ _forest_. “We’re on Alfheim.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “And where are we _going?”_

Loki didn’t answer - something he tended to do when Tony tried to make him be more specific about this.

They had been walking for the better part of an hour and Tony was fairly sure he’d tripped over at least twenty roots - only just barely keeping himself from ending up face-first in the dirt. He’d also almost stepped on some kind of rabbit-like creature with fangs. Loki had declared they were harmless, but Tony was still dubious.

“When you said you had a surprise for me that involved travelling to another planet, I was kind of expecting something a bit more glamorous.”

“You have not even seen your surprise, and you are already doubting that you will enjoy it?” Loki asked, sounding amused. 

“We’ve been walking for an _hour_ ,” Tony complained. “Couldn’t you have just teleported us?”

Loki shook his head. “Not without jeopardising the secrecy of the location.”

Frowning, his curiosity instantly piqued, Tony asked, “How many people know about this place you’re taking me?”

“Myself,” Loki glanced at Tony, “and you.”

Tony blinked, but he couldn’t help becoming more intrigued. He also started to speed up when he could see a clearing approaching. Loki led him directly to it, pulled back a branch and revealed... 

“It’s a house.”

Okay, it was impressive, Tony would admit that. It was more like an English manor house than a suburban home. It was huge, perfectly maintained with a ridiculous amount of space cleared around it. There was even a lake a little further down while rolling hills of forests and grassy valleys spread in all directions. It was actually _beautiful_ , but Tony still had no idea why he’d been brought here.

“It’s... my house,” Loki told him, making Tony turn to look at the mage. He was standing in a way that Tony knew meant he was nervous, almost jittery. “But it could be _ours_.”

Tony glanced between the building and the trickster, trying to work out exactly what was being said to him. When Loki held his hand out between them and a gold apple plopped into existence, things got cleared up a hell of a lot faster.

“You’re... you’re offering me an apple.” Tony could only stare at what was suddenly laid out before him; immortality - forever with Loki.

“I have _never_ cared that you are mortal,” Loki told him. “I have only ever cared about losing you, something I don’t ever wish to experience. This house,” he gestured at it, “is a property I purchased in my youth. I wanted something entirely mine, a place far from Asgard and my responsibilities. I imagined running away, leaving my title of prince far behind me. I fantasised of being nothing more than a reclusive mage, perhaps marrying a person of my choosing if I ever found someone I wished to invite here.”

Loki paused, swallowing thickly before stepping closer. “I have invited _you_ here, because I wish for this; a place of our own where we may retreat, a place we can live should you no longer wish to call Midgard our home. I wish to spend my life with you,” Loki stopped in front of the engineer, the apple in one hand while the other reached for and cupped Tony’s cheek. “I want everything we now share, Anthony, only I want to be certain we can have even _more_ of it.”

Dropping his eyes back to the fruit, Tony reached for the apple, taking it with a slightly trembling hand. It was solid and smooth; a little larger than an apple from Earth. It was also a long future spent with Loki and a huge house in the middle of an Alfheim forest that no one else had ever seen.

“Know that I will love you no matter what you decide.” Tony glanced up to find Loki watching him, his eyes serious and his voice unwavering. His thumb stroked Tony’s cheek as he continued, “If you do not want this I will still remain with you until the end of your mortal life.”

Tony swallowed around a suddenly dry throat, his eyes having widened at the promise. “You’ll watch me die.”

A muscle twitched in Loki’s cheek and something agonised flashed through the taller man’s eyes, but he hid it quickly enough, even if it meant glancing away for a moment to compose himself before looking back at the engineer. 

“I’ll honour your choice,” Loki told him, “and I’ll cherish the time that I do have with you.”

Tony’s eyes fell to the apple again; starting at the choice Loki was offering him - because there _was_ a choice. Tony knew Loki wasn’t lying when he said that; if he had to, the trickster would pretend he’d never offered and he would stand by the mortal’s side until he drew his very last breath.

It would be agony and it would break Loki’s heart, but the mage would do it if Tony refused his offer, because Loki loved him, and it was more important to spend any time that he could with Tony.

The very thought, the very _idea_ of Loki suffering like that made Tony almost shudder with pain. He brought one hand up to Loki’s neck, dragging him down until their foreheads were pressed together. Loki quickly wrapped an arm around Tony’s waist, dragging them even closer, the apple pressed between their chests where it was still clutched in Tony’s hand.

“You do not need to choose now, Anthony, you can-”

“God, Loki, of course I’m going to say _yes_.” The words came out of his mouth without thinking, an automatic objection to Loki’s continued attempts to break his own heart.

They both froze the moment the words registered, and Loki seemed like he didn’t dare to breathe. “You are?”

Tony didn’t really need to think about it, not when he’d never felt happier or more like _himself_ than when he was with Loki. When he had fallen completely in love with the other man and couldn’t imagine his life without the mage. When the idea of centuries to explore, create and experience the universe with the man by his side had the part of Tony that was recovering from his shock and disbelief almost giddy with excitement.

And not when the shear thought of saying _no_ to Loki hurt the engineer too much to consider.

“I am,” Tony told him, smiling brightly. “I’m saying I want everything you said. I want _you_ ; the house in the woods, the golden apple and a long and _extended_ future.”

Loki kissed him then, happier than Tony had ever seen him and Tony could only kiss him back, never wanting to let him or this moment disappear - because right here, on the edge of a forest, on another planet, with an apple in his hands, and the love of his life in his arms, Tony had found everything he could have ever wanted and there was nothing he had experienced that was greater than that.

There was nothing he wanted more.

* * *

_“Oh, I want something just like this”_

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> Hehe. I hope you liked this long fluffy thing with bonus Jotun!Form reveal feels (I have been remarkably lax on writing about them!).
> 
> Thanks, as always, for reading everyone! ♥


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